Why You Can’t Drink Like You Used To
3 Reasons Alcohol Hits Harder in Midlife (6 min read)
I got a message from a podcast listener the other day – let’s call them J. They said: “I am really keen to cut down on drinking. I am not an alcoholic, but I am not 18 anymore. I’m nearly 60!!”
Oh, to be 18 again… Actually, scratch that. No thanks.
I’ll stick with proper adulthood without the constant insecurity, the desperate search for acceptance, and the terrible taste in clothes, boys and music. (It was fun while it lasted though 😜)
We’ve all got fond memories of great nights out and wild weekends when we were in our late teens and early 20s – maybe even into our late 20s or beyond. But as we age, alcohol hits us differently.
This isn’t a sign of failure. It’s not some obscure biological anomaly that only you’re experiencing. It’s just biology. And it’s one of the many reasons why drinking differently is a whole new ballgame for those of us in our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.
So today, I want to put your mind at rest and explain why alcohol hits so differently in midlife – and look at ways you can work with your body instead of fighting against it.
Quick disclaimer: None of what you’re about to read is medical advice. As wise as I am, I’m not a doctor. If you’re concerned about how alcohol is impacting your health, please go speak to someone who’s spent many years and lots of money training to become a medical professional. I’m all about lived experience and this crazy little thing called life.
Right, having said that, let’s talk about your body...
How Your Body Changes After 40
1. Water works
A fun fact you probably learned in school and then promptly forgot: the human body is roughly 60% water. In our 20s. By our 50s? That drops to around 50%.
Ten per cent might not sound like much, but it makes a massive difference when it comes to alcohol.
Alcohol gets distributed around your body through your bloodstream and into water-rich organs like your liver, brain, heart and muscles. The more you drink, the higher your blood alcohol level rises. But the less water you’ve got sloshing about, the quicker that rise happens.
Think of it like making squash (or Kool-Aid for my American friends). If you put the same amount of cordial into less water, you get a stronger, more intense drink. Your body’s doing the same thing with alcohol.
What can you do? There’s no magic workaround here. Women and older humans naturally have lower water content. I know it’s boring, but drink more water (and not to be pedantic here, but only water is water – 16 cups of tea a day doesn’t count).
The next best thing? Level out the intensity by reducing how much alcohol you’re putting into your system in the first place. Your body physically cannot process it any faster, so don’t expect it to.
Try pacing yourself with only one alcoholic drink per hour, and give your body a fighting chance to process one lot of booze before you pile in another.
2. Hormones (or Hor-moans)
I’m 46 and perimenopausal. Chaps, don’t roll your eyes – this happens to you, too.
While women deal with the seemingly never-ending symptoms of menopause (up to 10 bloody years!), men go through their own hormonal cascade called andropause.
It’s not as sudden or dramatic as menopause, but it’s a gradual decline of testosterone that still affects mood, metabolism, sex drive, and how your body handles alcohol.
Both menopause and andropause lead to heightened emotional volatility, disrupted sleep, and foggier mornings. Add booze into that mix and you’re layering physical strain onto a body that’s already dealing with hot flushes, night sweats, cardiovascular stress, weight gain, and muscle loss.
Oh joy!
Alcohol also slows your metabolism, increases fat storage, and makes hot flushes, night sweats, and dehydration worse.
Double joy!
What can you do? I’m not sharing this to scare you into going sober; you know that’s not my vibe. But I am a big fan of the saying “forewarned is forearmed.” When it comes to midlife hormones and booze, the two just aren’t best friends. So don’t force them to be.
When you’re feeling the symptoms, alcohol isn’t your salve. Find some functional adaptogenic or nootropic drinks that help perk you up in the areas where you’re genuinely feeling depleted instead.
3. Sleep (Or Lack Of It)
Ah, a good night’s sleep. Every parent’s dream since the day you bring the little rascals home.
There’s a huge myth that a wee dram before bedtime helps you sleep. I hate to be the Scrooge of bedtime, but it’s just not true.
Yes, alcohol technically helps you fall asleep faster – but that’s where its superpowers end.
Alcohol is a nervous system depressant. It triggers the sleep hormone adenosine, which helps knock you out (or pass you out if you’ve had too much). But then it drops off quickly.
At first, you sleep more deeply (ever tried to wake a drunk person?). But that bit doesn’t last.
When you eventually fall into REM sleep – the bit you need for actual restorative rest – your cycles become shorter and less frequent than your body needs.
As you metabolise the alcohol, your body “rebounds” and tries to overcompensate for the rubbish sleep, leading to fragmented rest and waking up more frequently.
Translation: when you sleep on alcohol, you don’t get good sleep.
So you wake up feeling tired, unrested, stressed, with a million unresolved things racing through your mind.
As the day goes on, you become short-tempered, highly stressed, and both your decision-making and willpower are vastly diminished. You end up making less healthy choices and getting back on the booze again that evening when all you really need is a good night’s sleep.
What can you do? Good news: sleep is one area that can recover quite quickly once you start prioritising it.
I cover sleep, health, and stress management in Week 3 of the 4-Week Midlife Mindful Drinking Reset, which you can join for the best value by upgrading right here on Substack – isn’t that handy!
First: no booze before bed. Give yourself at least a three-hour window between your last alcoholic drink and when you want to sleep.
Second: PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY! Late-night Instagram (or addictive mobile games for me) are not your friend.
Clean sheets, a dark room, nice smells – all the sleep hygiene tips work together to create a better environment for quality sleep.
For drinks, try anything with magnesium – I use a supplement from Healthy Metal*, or you could try brands like Trip* (they do both CBD & magnesium drinks). Or soothing teas with chamomile or valerian root.
This one isn’t rocket science. As we get older, our sleep naturally declines (be honest, how many times do you get up for a wee?). So you have to protect it more fiercely.
Night Night
So to J, and to anyone else wondering why you can’t drink like you used to: it’s because you’re not the same person you used to be.
Everything about you has changed since you were 18 (I hope), and there’s no reason why this shouldn’t change too.
It doesn’t mean you’re broken, failing, or incapable. But it does mean you need to put your big kid pants on and recognise that you might need to make different decisions now about how you allow alcohol to show up in your life.
And that’s fine. Who’d want to be 18 again anyway?